apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
