piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
