been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
