JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
