You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
