im six kinds of drunk right now
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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