So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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