you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
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It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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