I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Randomize
