This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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