MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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