she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
