i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
