i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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