For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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