Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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