I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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