Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
bring money and cleavage
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
