Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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