I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize