are you still at the devil's house?
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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