i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
