Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
