It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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