She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
its liver damage thursday
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
