just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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