I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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