Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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