I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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