If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
