he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
