I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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