and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
