I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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