I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
