she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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