Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I want her autograph on my taint
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
