you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
