Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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