just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
