dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
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well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
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Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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