My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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