If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
