He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize