Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
