Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
All I want is dick and wine.
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