I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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