as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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