normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize