Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
