We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
