In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My ATM looks so different sober.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
