I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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