Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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