So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I wear drunk well.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
