Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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