He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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