My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Do vagina's smell?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
