I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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