Your mouth is God's brothel.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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