I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
