I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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