some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
