I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize