ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
